I am so tired of my Life.
Somedays, I get so tired of my life. It sucks. I am really tired of being a Looser. I am so lonely for someone to love, and to love me back. seeing other people, interacting with there special someone, is a wonderful sight to behold. But, it makes me so sad. Because I dont have someone to hold in my arms, to cuddle with, to kiss good (morning, night), to give them an “I Love You” kiss, to hug & and; hold them in my arms, and other things that couples due.
I do have my very special someone, but she is overseas with the kids, and it will be probably atleast 2 years before I get to see them again. 
It will be 3 years this May, since I have seen them last. I see them once in awhile on the web cam; but that pales in comparison to seeing Bianca and the kids live and in person.
I am still without a job. I have been unemployed since Janurary 2008. I will run completely out of money as of this Sunday (13th). If I dont find a job soon, I have no idea, as to how I will pay my bills. Sometime in May, the USA government will be mailing out, some type of refund type checks to every US citizen, that filed taxes this year. If I dont have a job by them, it will be the only monies that I will be getting anytime soon.
So far, the Brinks job and the Syron job, are still up in the air: just waiting to hear either way with these 2 jobs. Syron is my prefered job at $17 per hour, and the Brinks job, is my backup job, paying $10 per hour. but, the Brinks job is 55 hours per week; so lots of overtime pay. With the Brinks job, I get to buy my own Body Armour: because of the very high probability of being shot at.
I dont have much to loose, so the risk is acceptable to me.
I know, you are thinking, I have Bianca and the kids to worry about me and to have concerns for my safety. but, I dont know how the long hours and her moving to the UK for work, will help make things any easier for the both of us. Its hard enough to get her to express herself, let alone, write actual letters. But, I will do my best, just like I have always done.
Sometimes, I just want to give up on having a relationship with her.
TheGuildMaster
