I have an epic resume as an Industrial Electrician; but, still no one responds; not even a rejection letter. that would be better than not hearing anything from a company. atleast it would let me know that I can forget about that company and move on.

So I just contine to search for jobs, from various sources, send out resumes and fill out applications; and hope someday that a compnay will contact me with a job offer.

I still have some types of work that I will not do: like haul 40+ pound bags of what ever, all day long, and get paid minimum wages. I dont clean toilets either. I am too bleeping old and I have done this type of crappy jobs in the past. I have had enough of serious bust ass work for near nothing wages for companys that dont give a crap about its employees. So I say “F.U” to all those heartless, uncaring, asshole employers that treat employees as numbers, and not like human beings. FU.

well, enough ranting for now. still depressed, but feel just tiny bit better after venting here.

Smile and the world smiles with you; frown, and all you get is wrinkles.

I have been feeling so depressed lately. I just don’t give a shit about things.
part of it, is probably that I have been unemployed for 3yrs 4mths. Do you think?

I applied to so many jobs, I stopped keeping track of them.
I have applied to so many “post high school” jobs it rediculious. and I get the same answer “over qualified”: they do not actually use those words. but the words they do use, seriously imply that.
Damm, if I didnt want to work there, I would not be applying for the job.
Im an Industrial Electrician by trade. so, potential employers see my epic resume. And they think I will leave them as soon as a $20+/hr job comes my way. That is true, but, I need a job now (monies) to live on.
what makes a high school graduate more reliable than me for staying at that job?
I have work ethics. and for most post-highschool jobs the turnover for employees is high to begin with. So why am i more of a turnover risk than they are??

enough ranting.

on a nicer note:
I have a girlfriend. Woot Woot. I met her online in September 2010. She is wonderful. she has a 1yo daughter. They are both so beautiful. but, yet I consider myself as unatttractive. 6 feet tall and 340 pounds ugly guy. but she likes large guys. We will see how true that is, when we finally meet in person.
I forgot: she is from the Philippines. Filipino skin colour, jet black hair, black eyes to die for. she is 5 feet tall and 100 pounds. LOL. just a little bit of a size differance. LOL.
We will see where life takes us. Good or bad, we will see.

Enough typing, I could spend hours typing.

Smile and the world smiles with you. Frown and all you get is wrinkles.

The Holiday Season Sucks!

I REALLY DO HATE MY LIFE!

I know other people have worse lives than me, and for that strange thought, I guess I should be thankful.

I have a quote that I came up with years ago: “No matter how bad of a situation you are in, someone somewhere is in a worse one.”

Kind of warpped isn’t it?

Well to all you Cheery Christmas peoples out there.

Merry Christmas.

Without going into all the details of the things that happened since I last posted about her (May 6th, 2008). I finally found out what one of the main reasons she is upset with me. Well, “upset” is not really the right word to use. No, she is not seriously pissed off at me; I just don’t know what correct word to use.

I am condensing and simplifying this explination greatly; so please bear with me.
I have been layed off for over six months. I live at home as the caretaker of my parents house.
She (Bianca) is upset (I figure “Envy” is the better word, rather than “upset”) at the fact that I have a “roof over my head” even though I am unemployed with a limited income. She has to provide for her 3 kids, her mom and grand mom. I help by sending monies when I can. Regretably, its not very much, nor as much as I should be sending her for our family. I feel like a piece of shit because of this. I also feel like I am failing as being a father, Husband (we are still Engaged), and more importantly as a family provider. But, that is my Cross to bear not hers. It seriously Sucks, not being able to properly provide for your family.

To describe our situation in differant and in a sarcastic light: I am having an easy time and she is working her ass off to provide for our family.
Which Really Sucks: not only for her, but for me beinging a failure.
I can understand her feelings and her feelings of resentment towards me.
But!
I am Completely Devoted to Bianca and the Kids. And my Love for them is beyond reproch. I am completely and totally committed to them. My Love for them cannot be described in words alone.

I Miss them and Love them All so very very much.

NOTE: Bianca lives and works in the United Kingdom as Medical Data Entry Specialist. Her Mom, Grand Mom and the 3 kids live in Romania. Thats where Bianca and family are from origionally.

On Thursday (8th July), was her funeral: it was a clear and sunny day, not too warm, but nice, with a light breeze. There were about 30 people that attended her funeral.
I Miss Her.

The Wake is today July 8th, 2009 from 1600hrs to 1900hrs local time.
The Funeral is tomorrow July 9th, 2009 at 1100hrs local time.

Most of the peoples from up to Kamp will be coming to see her.
Note: the Kamp is our summer home, located on the St. Lawrence River.

I am so sad and depressed now. I miss her.

I Love You Mom.

I Miss Her…..

she has been having chronic pneumonia for over the past 3 years. she has been diagnosed with COPD (Cronic Obstructive Pulminary Disorder): basically it is a difficult time breathing. she was a smoker for 40 years, and she quite smoking 15 years ago, but she still had the damage done to her lungs by the smoking.
So, Simply put…. Dont Smoke… Its Stupid …...

Now, earlier today (4 July-09): my brother, myself, and my father talked about what we should do; leaving her on life support or removing her from life support.
Her wishes were to NOT be kept alive on Life Support.
so, after many tearfull words; we decided to have her removed from life support. Whaaa!
We did not make this decision lightly. me personally, I would not want to be kept alive on life support either; but that is my choice.
So tomorrow, Sunday (5 July-09), we (my brother, father and myself) are going to see mom and the Dr, and tell him our decision concerning our mothers life support.

One postive note: even though mom was sadated, she and dad got to celebrate there 60th wedding anniversary on the 2nd of July-09.

Also, I have been training to become an EMT, as of the 1st of May-09.
I will go into this in more detail as time permits.

!!!!! This SUCKS !!!!!
I miss her already.

I dont know what else to say.. I will let you know what happens and how things are tomorrow. I imagine, I will be writting much more often now.

for those of you that are wondering, yes, I am still with Bianca. Much has happened since I talked about her. I will write more about Bianca and I later.

But! I do have some things I need to talk about in the next entries.